Bit the Bullet

 So, I bit the bullet. I finally signed up for the FOD Support group. I had been resisting this for some reason...I think maybe because if I signed up for it and started participating in it, I finally accepted the fact that my little guy has a life long disorder. Yes, I understand that it has been almost a year since they first told us about it and his NB screening came back abnormal. But I have been on a long, and sometime dark journey since that day. To say that I didn't grieve about it would be an absolute lie. I have checked the website of the FOD Support group many times, but I just was not ready to give in and join. For the 11.5 weeks of agony that we waited to hear if Landon did indeed have VLCADD, I prayed and prayed and prayed to God that this was just all a big mix up. And then when his diagnosis came back positive for the disorder, even though it was the best possible scenario we could get other than a negative result, I was so mad at God and I blamed myself. Understand that they did tell me at least 100 times that there was nothing Scott or I did to cause him to have this disorder, it's genetic...end of story. We have been through so much the last year, myself especially on the journey of grief and acceptance that my little boy has a disorder that is life long. Having come out the other side of the depression and raw anger that followed his diagnosis I am now ready to jump in head first and do anything I can to put the test for this disorder on any and all new born screenings no only in the United States, but in the entire world. I guess you could call it my new life long goal, but I believe that by joining the FOD support group that I can help make this happen. I've probably said it a million times, but it truly is a blessing that we moved to Arizona and that Landon was born there. Had he been born in Texas, he would not have been tested for FAOD's and we would not know of his disorder, and it is very possible that when he was so sick and hospitalized in December he may not have made it. But since we were armed with all of the information and kow how on what to do should something like that occur, I have a wonderful happy and healthy one year old running around. So, I guess what this long drawn out paragraph is supposed to say is that I have finally accepted his diagnosis and I want to do something about it, and help others who will go through the same journey that my family has over the last year, and the years to come!